One thousand eight hundred and forty-two miles. That’s how far it was from our address in Highlands Ranch, Colorado to our new address in Alexandria, Virginia if you factor in off-roading for gassing up, bathroom breaks and hotel stays. The movers weren’t going to arrive for more than a week after we got to Alexandria, so we had to pack as much as possible. It was a semi-daunting task as it was and then--oh right we have two kids under three. For my fellow Broncos fans, The Drive will always conjure memories of John Elway in the 1986 AFC championship game. For us, I think it will always mean this:
Travelling with kids can be nuts. We’ve done a lot of seven-hour trips to Wyoming and they’ve been champs, but we’ve never taken them on four straight days of car trips, much less stayed in a cramped hotel room with two kids bursting with energy after eight hours of being strapped in like a crazy person. We came prepared with DVDs, CDs, table trays, coloring pencils, toys and cough drops. Lots and lots of cough drops. Oh did I mention? We were all sick during the trip.
Trip Log
Day 1
1842 miles remaining
Phil: “All right everybody, say goodbye to our home!”
Jenn: “Don’t forget to set the Garmin.”
Phil: “Hey, our estimated arrival time in Manhattan, Kansas is 3:40 pm, that’s not too bad.”
Jenn: “Really? That sort of makes me want to puke.
Garmin: “Turn left”
Phil: “We know Garmin lady.”
1650 miles remaining
Brynn: “Aaarrgghhh, go away sun!”
Phil: “Brynn, the sun will never go away, it’s been around for billions of years. Where did you put your sunnies?” (Toddler-speak for sunglasses.)
Brynn: “I just took them off”
Phil: “Well, why did you take them off, they help block the sun!”
Jenn: “We’re almost at the gas stop, sweetheart, then you can get out and run around in the bathroom.”
Phil: “Weird. Okay, so I’m going to gas up while you take Jonah for a diaper change. Then I’ll pull the car up front, and bring in Brynn for a diaper change”
Jenn: “I’ll need the car keys in case I get done first.”
Phil: “Oh right. Okay, Brynn and I will just hang out by your bathroom until you’re done so I can give you the keys.”
Jenn: “Weird. Here’s our exit.”
Garmin: “Recalculating!”
Phil: “Calm down, Garmin lady.”
1483 miles remaining
Jenn: “Hi, baby girl! Are you awake now?”
Brynn: “Yeah!”
Jenn: “Good timing because we just got to McDonalds for lunch!”
Garmin: “Arriving at destination”
Phil: “Yes, we know Garmin lady. Wow, look at this place, it’s pretty nice. It has a fireplace. Have you ever been in a McDonalds with a fireplace?”
Jenn: “I’ll take Brynn and you can take Jonah for diaper changes.”
Phil: “Are we making this a quick lunch?
Jenn: “No, we’re making good time. Let’s take our time and let the kids get out some energy in the Play Place.”
Phil: “Sounds good. I’ve been sitting all day, maybe I don’t want the Angus Bacon Burger…did you see the fireplace?”
1326 miles remaining
Garmin Lady: “Arriving at destination”
Jenn: “Here we are at our hotel, are you excited to go to the pool Brynn?”
Brynn: “Yeah! And Jonah and Mommy and Daddy and Jonah are going to go!”
Phil: “Okay, I’ll take our suitcase, Jonah’s diaper bag and the jellybeans in…oh and Brynn too.”
Jenn: “Do you really need the jellybeans?”
Phil: “Me? Brynn needs them for….potty training.”
Jenn: “Fine, I’ll bring in Jonah, the kid’s suitcase, Brynn’s diaper bag, and the box of wine. Someone will have to go back for the kid’s second suitcase, the DVDs, the medicine and the-- ”
Phil: “Sounds like all the essentials.”
Jenn: “Someone will have to go back for the kid’s second suitcase, the DVDs and the medicine bag.”
Phil: “Here’s our room, isn’t it nice? Jonah’s going after the electrical cords! Brynn, our hands are full will you get your brother? No, don’t carry him, just…gently drag him away. Jenn, help!”
Jenn: “I can’t get him--my hands are full, too! Brynn, stop carrying him, he can’t breathe!”
Brynn: “I was just hugging him!”
Jenn: “Okay let’s find your swimsuits and let’s go to the pool…quickly.”
Day 2
1326 miles remaining…5:00 am CST
Brynn: “Mommy, I’m awake”
Jenn: (coughing) “It’s still really early sweetheart, please just go back to sleep.”
Brynn: “No, I’m awake”
Jenn: “Brynn, Mommy was up all night coughing, then Jonah woke up coughing and had to come into our bed and kept us up all night. Pretty please go back to sleep?”
Brynn: “No, I’m awake right now and I need to pee!”
Jenn: (sigh) “Fine, let’s go.”
Phil: “What’s going on? Why is she awake? Why is Jonah in bed with us?”
Jenn: “Sorry, sweetheart, I probably kept you up all night with my coughing and then the little guy wouldn’t go back to sleep.”
Phil: “No I slept great. I don’t remember a thing.”
Jenn: (stare)
967 miles remaining
Phil: “Here we are in St. Louis! Brynn, this is where Daddy’s daddy grew up. Can you see the big arch?”
Garmin Lady: “Take Exit 39B on right”
Jenn: “It looks like it should be right off the exit.”
Phil: “Yeah, I see it now, but where’s the parking? Crap, we just passed it. Where were you on that one Garmin lady?”
Garmign Lady: “Recalculating”
Phil: “Oh shut up Garmin Lady.”
Jenn: “Philip!”
Phil: “Sorry, she’s been on my case for two days now.”
Brynn: “Philip, Philip, Philip!”
Jenn: “You do realize she’s not real?”
Phil: “I’m starting to wonder….Okay what’s the strategy?”
Jenn: “Can you get Jonah and his car seat, my back is hurting. And bring in the medicine bag because I want them to get their medicine right away before we forget. I’ll get their suitcase, you get ours so we have our swimsuits, I’ll bring in the DVD player and DVDs, then once we’re settled, I’ll come back out for the wine, the second kid’s suitcase and the Netbook while you start getting swimsuits on.”
Phil: “Um, okay.”
Jenn: “I suppose kids in the hotel hot tub is out of the question, huh? That sounds really good right now.”
Phil: “I’m sure they’ll only get slightly boiled.”
Jenn: “Not funny”
Phil: “I get less funny as this trip goes on, huh?”
Jenn “Yup”
967 miles remaining – outside the Gateway Arch
Garmin Lady: “Recalculating!”
Phil: “Shut it Garmin Lady. Is there any parking for the arch? We keep driving right by it.”
Jenn: “I don’t know, did it say anything on the website?”
Phil: “I forgot to look after swimming, sorry.”
Jenn: “Brynn, can you see the big arch out your window?”
Brynn: “I want to touch it!”
Jenn: “Well if we ever get there you certainly can.”
Garmin Lady “Recalculating!”
Phil: “Go to hell…..oh--parking garage!”
Garmin lady: “Arriving at destination.”
Phil: “No thanks to you. Okay, they close in like 25 minutes, so we’ve got plenty of time. Holy schnikes it’s cold out.”
Jenn: “Bundle up kids, it’s time to touch the arch!”
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| A view from the top of the arch. |
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| At the top of the arch, and happy to be out of the car. |
Day 3
967 miles remaining…5:50 am CST
Brynn: “Mommy, I’m awake.”
Brynn: “Daddy, I’m awake.”
Brynn: “I PEED!!!”
Phil: “Okay I’m up. Let’s go to the bathroom. Mommy and Jonah coughed a lot last night, so let’s be extra quiet okay?”
Brynn: “Okay” (loudly)
Phil: “Okay, let’s take off your diaper. Hey, you didn’t pee, why did you say you did?”
Brynn: “I love you so much, Daddy.”
Phil: (sigh) “I love you too.”
