My week as Mr. Mom

A couple of weeks ago, we were incredibly excited to welcome Alice Ann Nelson into the world.  Jenn went back to Denver to help out our friends and I took a week off to be Mr. Mom.  I've done days and even a weekend, but this was uncharted waters.  More than one male coworkers said, "Dude, really?  Good luck."  They said it so much like a good bye that I don't think they planned on me making it back.  Below is the chronicle of my week as Mr. Mom.  And the list of bad movies I watched since Jenn wasn't there to roll her eyes at the movie choices.

Day 0: Jenn leaves
Dropped Jenn off at the airport and since this was the day our babysitter came over, I got to go to work.  My last day for six days.  If I had known what I was getting into, I would have stayed later.

Brynn Quote:  Me: "Am I doing a good job like Mommy does?"
                      Brynn: "Mmm...no."

Awesomely Bad Movie: Limitless - Not bad, not awesome, just a fun shallow movie I probably wouldn't have watched otherwise.  If I could learn how to fight just by watching Bruce Lee movies, I too would walk around with Bradley Cooper-esque swagger.

Day 1: Huber Park day
Unintentionally we spent an hour and a half at two different parks after naptime.  They were having a great time and I was hoping they would sleep in.  Spoliler alert: they didn't.

Mistake Mom wouldn't have made: It literally took us 20 minutes to leave the house.  I forgot the sunscreen, then jackets, then Jonah's hat.  It didn't take long to realize that while I'm typing up blog posts, Jenn is organzing our life.

Brynn Quote: "No, I just need to dump this bark on Jonah because he's dirty"  The logic is still blowing my mind.

Awesomely Bad Movie: The Killers.  Highlight is when Ashton Kutcher grows out a mustache to be like his father-in-law Tom Selleck.  It took an hour and 45 minutes to reach this peak.  Awesomely bad indeed.

Day 2: Bouncy house
I found an fun inflatable bounce house facility about 20 minutes away.  We went for an hour and bounced to our, er...I mean the kids', hearts content.

Mistake Mom wouldn't have made: Putting Brynn in a dress for the bouncy house and forgetting the short shorts that went with it.  A lot of people got mooned.

Brynn Quote: (astonished) "Whoa, Daddy you're eatting veggies too?"

Movie: Iron Man 2.  I'd already seen it, but I event watched Green Hornet I love Superhero movies so much.  FYI, Green Hornet is just bad, not awesomely bad.  Iron Man 2: awesomely awesome.

Day 3: Birthday Party
A co-worker of mine invited us to her son's birthday party.  People who have kids close in age to us are nice to visit because they have their outlets covered and tons of padded objects to play with.  Birthday parties are great because they have cake.  Done and done.

Mistake Mom wouldn't have made: Forgetting the diaper bag in the car.  Also almost wrapped a boys present in pink paisley wrapping paper because I thought it was the only thing we had.  Fortunately, Jenn saved me from certain retraction of my man card.  I'd like to add least get credit for trying to wrap it.

Brynn Quote: This one must have been going through her head when she was handed a bat and told to hit the piñata as hard as she could.  Something along the lines of, "Are they freaking serious?"

Highlight: Movie night with Brynn after Jonah went to bed.  Finding Nemo and some popcorn.  My favorite moment during Mr. Mom week.

Awesomely Bad Movie:  Kickass.  Lose the bad because this movie was just flat out awesome.  Hilarious combination of teenage angst film and superhero epic that oddly worked, pulled together by Nicholas Cage being...who Nicholas Cage always is.

Day 4: Charlottesville
A great day in C-ville with my sister and her husband.  Knowing I'm out matched and outwitted by my two children, they came prepared with games, tasks and more energy than I could muster.
 
Mistake Mom wouldn't have made:  Remembered a change of pants for Brynn....but not a change of underwear.  You're going commando, kiddo!

Brynn quote: (Upon being told by Aunt Stephy she could pick one toy as a present)  "I want this, ooh I want this, ahhh I want this..."  Repeat 30 times for full effect.

Movie: Replace movie with an hour and a half of online Mario Kart with Peter.  The long dormant video game player inside me stretched his legs and rejoiced...and then got beat down by Peter and a bunch of Koreans online.

Day 5: The Little Gym
I had been wanting to try out the Little Gym close to us as a way to get the kids out and using up some of that infinite energy in a constructive way.  Today was the only day we could do a free trial, so we went.  We came back and Skyped with Mom!

Mistake Mom wouldn't have made: Jenn inevitably would have done enough research to realize that Brynn would become ineligible for My Gym when she turns three--in two months.  Oh well, we got some exercise.

Brynn quote: Jenn: "Hi Brynn, I miss you!"
                    Brynn: "Where's Baby Alice?"

Awesomely Bad Movie:  Gamer.  Unintentionally, I saved the most awesomely bad for last.  Ex-cons sign up to get injected with nano-cells that allow them to be controlled by video gamer players.  They then go and kill each other in an attempt to...win I guess?  Spoiler alert #2, they take down the establishment and their plot to control the world.  Even too bad for me.  That's REAL bad.

Day 6: Nothing, Glorious Nothing
Just a day of hanging out around the house and soaking up my last full day as Mr. Mom.  It was an incredible week.   Selfishly, I got to workout for an hour every day, sleep in (a little), do TONS of fantasy baseball research and cook dinner...all of which never happen in my normal life.   I probably won't remember any one moment, because it was six days of blurry insanity.   Just the feeling of being surrounded by my kids at home and sharing in their love of bugs, books and belly buttons has made an indelible impression on me.

I am so freaking excited to be back at work.