One of the best things about moving to DC is that I don't have to travel as much. For 3 months from mid-January until mid-April, I was scheduled to be gone for 25 days. Since it was usually DC that I was travelling to, that 25 days is now down to 4. This seems like a silly thing, but was actually a big selling point in taking the job. I knew that I would be working a lot of long hours this year, but I felt that if I always got to come home to my family, that somehow made it better. This may be blatant justification of a decision I already wanted to make, but I prefer not to have that sort of insight into my own mind.
Right now, however, is the 4 days that I'm away from them and it overlaps a fairly important day: February 14th. In general, I can't stand Valentine's Day, and not just because I never got sent a candy gram in high school even though I put some pretty significant hints out there and Chris York of all people got one and he had a lazy eye that twitched slightly and....it's not important. I figure, show your love the other 364 days of the year and you don't have to get blindsided by this holiday so soon after Christmas (seriously, what happens to January every year?). Still, there's something about not even being there while every one else is having lobster thermidor and crab legs (thank you Peter for the references), that doesn't seem right. So on this awful holiday, I'm feeling a little sentimental.
I love my wife; she is fantastic. The whole reason we are here in DC this year is because of her unselfish decision to be a stay-at-home Mom, while I pursue a great career opportunity. We've been friends every since we met in the 6th grade, which, if you do the math (sorry, hon), is 20 years of having my most favorite person in my life. She's a super cook, is an amazing mom and has a great sense of humor. I run out of superlatives pretty quickly when talking about her and I've never really liked using a thesaurus. You stupefy me? Sounds like a Harry Potter jinx. Anyway, for someone like her to be with someone like me, who thinks declaring his love on a mushy blog for the world to throw up at, is something that never gets old. It's tough being away from someone like her, especially on a day dedicated to love.
I guess in my old age my feelings on this holiday have softened, along with my teenage angst (really though, Chris?). While I still feel you should show your love every day, it's fun to have a reason to go overboard every once in a while. Happy Valentine's day Jenn, I love you.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Are We There Yet?
413 miles remaining
Jenn: “Okay, you can come out of the bathroom now.”
Phil: “Did you finally cuddle her asleep?”
Jenn: “Yeah, finally.”
Phil: “I don’t know why she won’t fall asleep with me.”
Jenn: “She needs to be spooned in a very specific way.”
Phil: “Weird. Okay, the Broncos game just started. Do you think she’ll sleep through the TV being on, but muted?”
Jenn: “Probably. If she starts to wake up, just turn the TV off and we’ll watch more Modern Family.”
Phil: “Okay, you want some delicious box wine?”
Jenn: “Um, yeah.”
Phil: “Me too, let’s go Broncos!”
One and half hours, two glasses of box wine and 35 Patriot points later...
Phil: (whispering obscenities)
Jenn: “You know, you’re going to subconsciously teach our children those words.”
Phil: “Gah! I leave the state for three days and this is what happens!"
Jenn: “I’m sure it’s all your fault.”
Phil: “Thanks. Just turn on Modern Family and pass me the box wine.”
Day 4
413 miles remaining miles remaining…alarm set for 5:30 am CST
(Alarm goes off)
Phil: “Jenn, I’m awake.”
Jenn: “You’re not funny.”
Phil: “I peed.”
Jenn: “You’re gross. We’re lucky the kids didn’t wake up. Let’s see how much we can get packed before they do. Hopefully we can get an early start, so we can get there by nap time.”
Phil: “I pooped”
Jenn: (sigh) “I can’t wait to be there.”
Thirty minutes later
Jenn: “Okay, we’ve showered, dressed and packed everything the kids don’t need and they’re still sleeping?
Phil: “It figures the one day we want to leave early is the day they choose to sleep in. Poor things, the road trip must be exhausting them.”
Jenn: “Let’s wake ‘em up.”
Twenty four miles remaining
Phil: (on the phone with Steph) “Hey Steph, we’re pumped to see you! We’re getting ready to hit the beltway, which I keep hearing horror stories about so I have no idea when we’ll get through. The Garmin lady thinks we’ll be there at 12:30, but she’s an idiot. It’ll probably be more like 1:00. (pause) Yes, I know she’s not real. See you then!"
Garmin Lady: “In point two miles, take exit on right”
Phil: “Okay, this road is sort of weird. It’s driving right next to the actual highway, only slower.”
Jenn: “Maybe she thinks the Beltway is too much traffic.”
Phil: “She? You do realize she’s not real, right?”
Jenn: “Oh shut up.”
Garmin Lady: “In point 2 miles take entrance onto Highway 495”
Phil: “Really? We just got off the completely empty highway for 3 miles only to get right back on it. Stupid Garmin Lady”
Brynn: “Stuper Lady!”
Jenn: “Yes Brynn, she is a SUPER lady” (glaring at me)
Phil: (cough) “Man, look at the Garmin’s arrival time, it’s going down pretty quick. Looks like we’re going to be there in about 20 minutes. Sweet!”
1 mile remaining
Jenn: “We’re almost there kids and we have yummy Popeye’s for lunch when we get there!"
Garmin Lady: “Turn left onto Thomas Jefferson Drive.”
Garmin Lady: “In 100 ft, stay left onto James Madison Avenue.”
Phil: “Arrgghh, the roads keep changing names!”
Garmin Lady: “In 200 ft, enter the James Polk memorial roundabout.”
Phil: “Wait, what?”
Garmin Lady “Turn left onto George Washington Street, then turn right, then turn left.”
Jenn and Phil: “What did she just tell us to do?”
Garmin Lady: “Recalculating! Take U-turn onto Millard Filmore Blvd.”
Phil: “Holy Jesus, all I want is to do is get there and eat our Popeye’s chicken!”
Jenn: “What is this place, are we driving to a doctor’s office?”
Phil: “No, there it is. Wow, I feel bad for our visitors this year.”
Garmin Lady: “Arriving at destination.”
Jenn: “We’re here kids, let’s go have lunch in our new home!”
Phil: “I’ll get Jonah and the fried chicken.”
Jenn: “I’ll get Brynn and diaper bags.”
Phil: “Wow, look at this kitchen, I like the big fridge.”
Jenn: “The tile work is great!”
Phil: “Be right back, I forgot one last thing in the car.”
Running back to the car
Phil: “Thanks Garmin Lady.”
Thursday, February 2, 2012
A Case Study in Paying Attention to Signs
Day 3 : 713 miles remaining
Jenn: “Did that just say the interstate is closed?”
Phil: “Oh, um…I wasn’t paying attention.” (driving)
Jenn: “Have you paid attention to any signs this trip?”
Phil: (thinking) “No. I’m sure it was during a weekend night or something.”
Jenn: “Aaaand here’s the detour.”
Garmin Lady “Recalculating!”
Phil: “Rrrr! We’re so close to lunch! I’m getting hungry anger.”
Garmin Lady “Recalculating!”
Phil: “You know Garmin lady, if I could go that way I would. Are we still following the detour? I don’t see any signs.”
Jenn: “I think so.”
Garmin Lady: “Recalculating!”
Phil: “Sorry Garmin Lady. Sorry I didn’t take a left turn into that large orange metal post that was in the way of your precious route! Maybe if you had eyes, you would know I can’t go that way!”
Jenn: “Easy hon. It feels like we’re going in a big circle.”
Phil: “No, I think we only took three left turns, so if we take one right turn, we’ll be going in the right direction. I think.”
Brynn: “I need to pee!”
Jenn: “We’re going to stop for lunch soon sweetie. Do you see the big bridge?”
Brynn: “I need to pee!”
Jenn: “I know sweetheart. Try to hold it until we can stop.”
Brynn: “I need to pee!”
Phil & Jenn: “Just hold on!”
Brynn: “I need to pee!”
Garmin Lady: “Recalculating!”
Phil: “Arrggghhhh! Shut up Garmin Lady. Just shut the hell up!”
Jenn: “Philip!”
Brynn: “Philip! Philip! Philip!”
Phil: “I’m sorry, it was just very noisy and…..no excuse. I’m sorry."
Jonah: (crying)
Brynn: “Shut up mister man.”
Jenn: (stare)
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| Luckily, Brynn always had her blanket tunnel as her own private retreat. |
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